these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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