If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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