I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
