we're blogging at a bar
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
