return my video game
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
