We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sober January is a disaster.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
