Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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