There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Randomize
