I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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