You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
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