My room smells like vodka and shame
If that was your dad, he is hot
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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