I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Randomize
