Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
