I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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