so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
