finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
