Do you still have your period?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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