I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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