I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
