So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
