omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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