For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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