How'd it feel making her break her religion?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
