Rock
Scissors
Fuck
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
