i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Randomize
