The maid of honor just puked.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
someone owes me an orgasm
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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