He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize
