We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
