Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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