I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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