i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
