I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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