I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
