I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize