I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Randomize
