I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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