Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
