are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize