please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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