new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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