So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
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