I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
