I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
