I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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