I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Randomize
