so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
It was confusing and full of hummus
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
you inspire me to be a worse person
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
