i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Randomize