if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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