MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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