I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize