Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Randomize
