didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Randomize
