Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
it was like eating out sand paper
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
