dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
