i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
