So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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