My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
