dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
